Read: I Used to Work in a Head Shop

Thu Nov 10, 08:23 PM by

I used to work at a head shop in San Diego. At some point one of my co-workers made a hand written sign that said:
No stupid questions allowed. City Ordinance #1423009
I think it actually increased the number of stupid questions we got, but what can you expect from a head shop in Pacific Beach?
We took to writing the questions on the back of the sign, preferably with the offending customer watching.

-Why can’t I ask stupid questions?
-What’s a stupid question?
-Does the city require you to post that sign?
-Do you know what time Visions opens?
-Do you guys sell weed? Can you hook me up?
-Can I get a discount?
-Do you guys still sell T-shirts? (After walking past approximately 5,000.)
-Is my tongue barbell curved or straight?
-Will the large bats fit in the small dugouts?
-Is the T.V. a pipe? (While we are watching it)
-Do you have that hookah you raffled off a month ago?
-How big are these door beads? (the size of a door) So would I need 2 sets of beads to cover 2 doors?
-Are everyone’s toes, like, the same size?
-Do you guys sell stickers? (While looking through the sticker book.)
-On the phone: Are you guys east or west of the beach?
-Do you have ammonia or baking soda for free basing?
-Can I have sticker number O-U-T?
-Do you know where the nearest head shop is?
-You know that Pearl Jam sticker you sold me? How does that work?
-Do you guys have one product that works for both a urine and hair follicle test?
-Do you know where I can get a fake I.D.?
-Do I drink this before or after my drug test?
-Do you guys have a head shop?
-Is this where you keep your belly buttons?
-Is this bowl going to turn inside out?
-How many weighs will these scales last for?
-Would you buy me some whip its?
-Do you guys carry left handed lighters?
-Do you guys sell crack pipes?
-Do they make pipes colorful so you trip out when you’re high?
-Is there a special corner in P.B. on which to stand?
-I have a Kaiser card? (After being asked for I.D.)
-If I’m not 18 can I get someone else to buy it for me? Are you 18? Will you buy it for me?
-Do you have a shirt that says I’m drunk as fuck but I’m at the beach? (No) What are you talking about here it is. (Holds up a Jimi Hendrix shirt.)
-What is this? (Holding a frisbee.)
-Are you guys selling stuff?
-Do you guys sell tampons?
-Are some of these stupider than mine?

When the back of the sign got filled up with questions we would make a new one. I know there are at least four at this point. You should definitely go in and read the latest as I haven’t been in there for about a year now…I can feel the brain cells growing back.

Really though, I do miss fucking with those people.
When a customer would come in on their cell phone we would slowly turn up the music until they were yelling at the top of their lungs. At that point they would usually leave. It was awesome.

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