Recipe: I'm angry when I cook. (Chocolate chip cookies)

Mon Nov 7, 04:43 PM by Ryan Ward

First… you gotta go to the fucking store. I cannot help you with this. You need to know how to get in your car. You fucking moron.

Once you get there you will buy the following shit:
3 cups flour
3 tbsp. baking soda
3 tsp. salt maybe a lil more
2 Eggs
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
1 bag chocolate chips. Like the nestle normal bag size.
4 tsp. vanilla extract
1.5 cups butter

PAM (to grease the pan with.)

And a fucking oven…so help me god if you think you don’t need an oven, I will hurt you.

Now then:
Take the flour, baking soda, and salt and put them in a bowl. Set them to the side. Not too far away. Cause you will need them soon.

Then:
Put the eggs in a mixing bowl combined it with the SOFTENED butter. Mix….slowly. Not too fast. If you do go too fast then all that shit will be on your face.

Next add both sugars…and vanilla extract last…DO IT JUST LIKE THAT. Or die.

Ok. Once all that shit is together…like nice and smooth, not too lumpy, you will know when its time: You are gonna take the flour and shit and slowly fold it into the wet mixture…cause if you do too much too fast you will end up looking like a fucking hooker that just had a load shot on her face…cause they are both white…you see what im saying. You are gross

Once all that shit is together…you gotta use the oven…pre heated at 325 degrees.

Cook the cookies for 8-12 minutes. Depending on how many you get on a pan and how nice your oven is.

When you are done cooking them all let them cool on a cooling rack…then…you will die. Cause I said so.

I am the fucking tool. The king of you. I make you drool…next time I will verbally abuse you more and tell you how to make tortellini soup….you are so fucking dumb if you are really still reading this.

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