Launch Minus Advice*
Wed Nov 30, 06:31 PM by Skylab SmithHow should I deal with a stinky co-worker?
Dear Launch:Commit,
How do I deal with a stinky co-worker? Like not stinky B.O. Like stinky make me puke my guts out chemical smell. You know, the kind that feel the need to dump 1/2 a bottle of horrid fragrance from the dollar section of KMART on themselves before coming to work?
KT
A co-worker’s right to stink ends where your nose begins. Generally speaking, you should not smell your co-worker. Period. Your nose should stay out of their private space, and their smell should stay out of your nose, unless you have some kind of mutual understanding.
It sounds like you and Stinky are not anywhere near a mutual understanding, though. You need to find a way to tell them that their perfume is too strong. We often fear the repercussions of telling people things we don’t like about them and/or expect will embarrass them, but in this case it sounds important. Remember that it isn’t the fact that you find their personal choice of fragrances horrid that’s the issue—you don’t need to attack them on a personal level. Telling them that you can smell them and don’t want to should be enough. Depending on your work circumstances, you might also have a supervisor deal with it.
Alternatively, have someone call them at home and identify themselves as an employee of the Better Business Bureau. Tell them that regular application of certain KMart perfumes (a little research would be in order here), especially in large volume, has been linked to sudden and horrible health effects, such as open sores, lesions, migraines, convulsions and vomiting, brain damage, cancer, testicular atrophy, comas and life-threatening respiratory disease, due to neurotoxic and carcinogenic chemical compounds in the fragrances that build up in the human body over time, even transferred from mothers to babies via breast milk, and causing birth defects such as limb deformities. Then ask them to participate in a short survey, detailing how much perfume they wear and whether they have experienced any of the following symptoms: watery or dry eyes, double vision, sneezing, nasal congestion, sinusitis, tinnitus, ear pain, dizziness, vertigo, coughing, bronchitis, difficulty breathing, difficulty swallowing, asthma, anaphylaxis, headaches, seizures, fatigue, confusion, disorientation, incoherence, short-term memory loss, inability to concentrate, nausea, lethargy, anxiety, irritability, depression, mood swings, restlessness, rashes, hives, eczema, flushing, muscle and joint pain, muscle weakness, irregular heart beat, hypertension, swollen lymph glands…and make sure you really sell it with stifled exclamations of concern if they answer “yes” to any of the above.
It probably won’t work, but it might be funny.
How can I figure out why my Craigslist roommate wants threesomes but won’t make out with me?
Dear Launch: Commit,
I moved in with some roomates I met on craigslist. They are really nice sweet wonderful girls, but they like to party. Now don’t get me wrong, I like to party as well. But these girls are party animals. Whenever we have people over it always turns into an orgy in one of their rooms. This didn’t pose a problem for me until the other morning when I woke up and was in the kitchen. I was feeling pretty hungover, when my roomate came in with a boy proposing a threesome. Its not that I’m a square, but a threesome first thing in the morning isn’t exactly a cup of coffee. Within another hour as I was on my way out the door to get a cup of coffee when I was proposed with another threesome. Same roomate, different boy. It was pretty confusing. When I turned her down again she wanted to know if it was her or the boys that was so unappealing to me. Also, this roomate keeps talking about trying to make out with me, but when we get down to it shes the one who is all talk. Not that I’m desperately trying to make out with her or anything. I just can’t read her vibe, man.
SO whats up with that?
Anonymous
First of all, I don’t believe for a second that you expected to get wholesome, moderate roommates off of Craigslist of all places—a virtual catalog of mental health disorders and a temple to sexual depravity. On Craigslist, not wanting to participate in a series of threesomes first thing in the morning could probably qualify as a fetish niche in and of itself, and a significant percentage of people posting in the roommates wanted section are only doing so because they’ve developed carpal tunnel syndrome as a result of their repeat postings on the CL Casual Encounters board and are ready for some live-in attention.
That aside, if you want to know why your threesumptuous roommate doesn’t seem to want to make out with you, I’d say you can follow her example in at least one respect: when you said “no” to her offers of threesomes, she asked you why not. You don’t have to “read her vibe,” you just need to ask her to answer your damn question.
But if I had to guess, I’d say your roommate doesn’t want to make out with you because she likes threesomes, and two people do not a threesome make.
What should I do about dreams of my fiance’s sister’s husband?
Dear Launch: Commit,
I’m having fantasies about a best friend’s boyfriend…do I tell her or is it harmless?WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN??
Actually, it was a wacky dream about my fiance’s sister’s husband. If that ain’t wierd.
What in the shit do I do?
Corinne
The subjects of dreams are usually non-literal. It is common to have sexual dreams about people you know, but the sex in the dream doesn’t necessarily represent sex, and the person doesn’t necessarily represent a person. Another guide for dream interpretation (from the naturalistic perspective, anyway) is that everything in a dream is your own creation, and as such really represents figments of your own mind rather than the objective world.
Take for example a sexual dream about a co-worker—this is more likely associated with your personal feelings about your work or sexuality in the abstract than it is about that specific person. Maybe the co-worker is an irritating and unattractive person in real life; the dream may be the product of feeling used and degraded by your employer or occupation. Your case is a little hard to follow since in your query you provide conflicting details about who was really in your dream and whether these are dreams or waking fantasies. But a sexual dream about your fiance’s sister’s husband, if that were the case, is likely a product of your feelings about your planned marriage. Your attraction to your future sister-in-law’s husband in the dream could be a product of your mind’s unconscious considerations of the desirability of “husband-ness” in general, conceptualizing yourself as a wife, fidelity and commitment in the abstract, your fiance more specifically, and so on.
You don’t need to confess the products of your unconscious mind to other people, unless talking about it with someone would be amusing or informative for you. On the other hand, if you actually have an overriding attraction to your future brother-in-law, you should probably deal with that directly, and sooner rather than later.
As a side note, interestingly enough so-called “objective reality” is completely impossible for the individual to observe (if not essentially non-existent) so even your waking-life relationships with other people are probably based on weird subconscious thoughts and feelings that you will never fully understand.
Hope that helps.
*Please note that the authors, proprietors and anyone else associated with Launch: Commit are not responsible for anything bad that happens to you as a result of our advice.
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