GONNNNNG
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I could tell you I got to the Nob Hill Masonic Center that day and felt a sense of accomplishment. But I didn’t. I was angry. I was there because I could no longer live in peace as a permanent resident. America would no longer just accept me as a happy, law abiding UK citizen. It had to convert me. It was a crusade. Become one of us or we’ll harass you at customs. Become one of us if you want to vote because paying taxes is not enough. Become one of us or we’ll make your girlfriend leave. Become one of us or we’ll make you leave instead.
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It’s happened to all of us at some time in our lives. We’re star-gazing on our porches, parking at Makeout Overlook, or trying to find our kitty-cats in our dark backyards, and it dawns on us: We are completely unprepared for the zombie pandemic! If the lurching undead came stumbling around the corner and we had to run for our lives, few of us would have any idea how to reconstruct society, let alone make it to that remote army bunker where some semblance of order prevails. Could we sow and reap the necessary crops? Could we maintain our ramshackle fleet of armored motorcycles? Could we build a facility with good, sterile technique that would allow us to perform the complicated childbirths that our fledgling community would require?
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IV.
My first Christmas back from Berklee
it was all bitter drinks and hiding from the truth.

The truth is, my parents divorced.

The truth is, I had plans for Boston.

The truth is, I paid for my plane ticket home
by putting Icy Hot on my balls.

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How should I deal with a stinky co-worker? How can I figure out why my Craigslist roommate wants threesomes but won’t make out with me? What should I do about dreams of my fiance’s sister’s husband? Launch:Commit applies our dazzling intellect to solve all of your problems.
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Ryan received this recipe from his great grandmother, and dictates it back to us in all its glory. The fact is, she was an asskicker from Philly, so who really knows the level of profainty that was involved…the truth is that his cookies are worth the insults, so give them a try. Then again, if you are a little baby, extra sensitive, or think the internet is anything more than a bunch of idiots with computers…what am I talking about? The cookies are good.

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First of all, I don’t remember why my family and I decided to enter the naturalization process and become, “under God,” US citizens. Why, after 14 happy greencard carrying years, did we feel the need to upgrade? After all, am I really going to vote “no” on prop 2,475? Can I come up come with enough excuses to dodge jury duty? I was happy being a crooked teeth limey. I was the Brit and you weren’t. I lost the Revolutionary Way and you didn’t. You saved my ass in WWI and WWII while I lost the Battle of 1812. I started the industrial revolution and you profited the most from it. I’ve won the World Cup and you don’t care – you have the ‘World’ Series. I knew about The Office before you and then you copied it. Badly. But okay, there was a reason to become a Yankee. I was a threat.
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The rule of thirds is simple: Imagine a photo divided into thirds vertically and horizontally. Areas of importance in the photo should fall on one of the four intersections caused by these lines. While this doesn’t work for every photo, it more often than not does help a static photo become more dynamic. Part I of the Three-Part (? (?!?!?!)) series by Queenin.
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What in the flaming assclown is pozole?
1) Traditional Mexican Pork and Hominy soup.
2) Potentially very time-consuming, and worth every single second spent. Bla Bla Bla.
d) Rad.
Q: A way to get people to come to your house and eat your food.
XIV – Your mom!

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This traditional Italian vegetable soup is rarely anything short of fantastically delicious, and this version (mom taught me) is easy, tastes great, and feeds like, 10 people at least. It’s a little on the expensive side, but it’s definitely worth it. Evil, why? I don’t know. But it sure tastes good.

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Enjoy. Eat it with chips, bread, whatever, YOU NAME IT, you the boss.

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